No, No, not a scumy little arts college at all. Yeah, and we're not a polytechnic either so there.

We're just as good Cambridge or Oxford (at Sonic the hedgehog), I mean, who wants to go to a proper university anyway?

Have a look at what some people have said.

"Crapston Trent Polyversity is the best (example of a waste of resources)" - Higher Education report

"Crapston Trent Polyversity spends the most (on advertising)" - The Times

"Crapston Trent Polyversity has the highest level (of graduate unemployment)" - Independant

"I fink its gad cas ya dan't 'ave to wok 2 'ard" - a student (um, how did this one get here - PR)

"Crapston Trent Polyversity is perfect (site for a new housing development)" - Crapston Town Council

"My time at Crapston Trent Polyversity was the best years of my life (not hard really since I spent the rest of my life working in Macdonalds)" - Former student

"Crapston Polyversity is far better than any university in America" - Bill Clinton

"Excellent" - Bramton-on-the-Green Church newsletter

Part of the Chris Keene Web Bit